Friday Blog: Living My Life Like It's Golden

My first semester of teaching at WMCAT is under my belt. What a freakin' miracle! In the beginning I was so full of nervousness and excitement; uncertainty and high expectations filled my mind. But in the end what was produced was the result of authentic hope and unbridled creativity. There were moments of shear joy and confidence as well as fear and feelings of inadequacy. All I know is that I was divinely equipped to accomplish what I did. This is proof that nothing I do is in my own strength.

What an interesting time in life...I mean, talking with a friend recently helped me realize that I have never been this close to doing to doing what I love to do. I can remember a time when I spent countless hours behind the counter of Four Friends coffee shop, staring out of the window wondering what direction my life was going in (and asking myself "When will I ever get out of this coffee shop!?"). I can remember feeling like what I wanted out of life was attainable but I just didn't know how to get there. Everything seemed so elusive; made for someone else but not me. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my art or what my work stood for. I used to get so caught up in what other people would accept as “art” while ignoring my own creative visions. I think a lot of artists get caught up in that when money becomes the focus. You want to sell art so you conform and compromise to the standards of others while little by little your artistic value and identity begins to deteriorate. I think that's when I had to stop and ask myself what I wanted to stand for; what did I want my work to represent. I came to the conclusion that I wanted my work to become a part of humanity; to represent the collaborative and unifying power that art has the capacity to create and to allow others to view the essence of who I am through words and imagery. Hopefully somewhere in all of that someone will connect with my work in a way that stirs their thoughts, makes them uncomfortable, fills them with joy or inspires them to look deeper within themselves, their society and their choices. I believe art can be a vehicle for change and I want to live my life knowing that I used my "powers" for good.

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This mornings meeting with the folks I am collaborating with for this years Artprize left me with an assurance that this thing is just going to get better and better. There are times, when doing big projects like this, that things seem all over the place. That's usually because I'm trying to figure things out myself. Attempting to put all the pieces together myself is ridiculous and unnecessary. Sometimes God has to put something so big in your life that you have no choice but to trust in him. This is one of those things because there are so many elements of it that are out of my hands. I love it though because all I have to really focus on is the art itself. How often does an artist get this kind of opportunity!? So, I have learned a valuable lesson today; do all I can do, let God take care of the rest and enjoy the ride along the way.

G