I have come to a point that I have learned that being in a relationship is not my highest priority. I mean, yes I want companionship but I no longer want to spend my time and energy in pursuit of or focused on my life partner. This coming from a gal who's love language is "quality time" is quite the unconventional perspective. My hope and desire is to nurture my friendships and build a deep sense of community with those around me. It's kind of hard to process that thought initially because of my natural desire to be relational. And I question how much of me is simply tired of one failed relationship after another and is “giving up". Regardless of origin, I have a forward-moving sense that compels me toward community building over husband-seeking. What exactly does that look like in the life of a 30-something artist with a hankering for a good latte? I have no idea. But I am willing to begin a personal and social exploration of such matters.
More than relinquishing an idea or desire, I feel I have the opportunity to gain so much more through total devotion to God than divided attention that comes with a relationship. I have a lot to learn, I know and there are parts of me that need to be pulled in with the reigns of submission, trust me. My thoughts of remaining single aren't rooted in a jaded heart but in the rich soil of possibility and hope. I realize that the foundation of my identity isn't formed solely by my relationships on earth but through my partnership with Christ. You know, I could continue to travel this similar road that continues to take me from one emotionally unstable situation to the next. But I would rather change directions and see what could be possible through the intentional investment in people as a whole as opposed to self serving individualistic pursuits.
This quote came to me today as I sipped a very peculiar but tasty tea at the Sparrows...”Success cannot be wholly achieved individually. It is only through community that we reach our potential and become our full self.”
Living Authentically,
G
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