Just Friends

You know that feeling you get when you're learning a life lesson? Kind of like swallowing a cotton ball. Not that I have ever attempted this but it sounds pretty unpleasant. Well, that's how I am feeling right now. I realized something about myself today. Truth is, when I don't get my way...I pout. How ridiculous! I have this internal temper tantrum like there is a little 5 year old living on the inside of me! Ha! Oh this is too funny! (I'm glad I can find this humurous otherwise I would probably be pretty ticked off).
The situation is a classic one: trying to be friends with your ex...a recent ex. Well, I guess I can't really classify him as an ex but who really cares about the technicalities and terminologies of dating. It is what it is. I am in that funky transitional phase...can't really call as much, can't really see each other too often, you get demoted from "dating" to "hanging out". You know exactly what I mean. Truth is I would like to be able to hang out like regular people. You know, have dinner...take a walk...go to a concert. But without all the extra emotions that make things complicated. Obviously I am asking for too much. But in reality I am guilty of making things complicated. I'm not putting all the blame on...let's call him "Diego" (I've always wanted a boyfriend named Diego, don't ask me why)...him. I've had my moments of emotional instability and attitudes that make for a complex situation, but Diego has had his moments as well. So when the dust settles and you try to be "just friends" there is so much smoke to get through it's hard to see clearly; see the real reason why you're still working at it. In my experience situations like this take much time. I have a very good relationship with my ex-fiance' (yes, I almost got married but that's another post) but when I say it took time I mean years! So I know for a fact that the man/woman/ex friendship is possible.
What this situaiton has taught me is that forgiveness is not passive but intentional and progressive. Love bears a heck of a lot and once again, it's not all about me. Just swallowed another cotton ball...

Living Authentically,
G