Weekend notes, Thanksgiving, and other things...

Since returning from Dallas a little more than a month ago some things in my life have become "un-foggy" or more clear rather. One of those things is the way I spend my time and energy. This has always been important to me but in light of my grandmothers recent stroke I have come to the resolve that there is a simplicity of life that far outweighs the false importance of the "hustle and bustle". Because of this recent epiphany my thoughts have shifted quite dramatically to what actually matters the most. One of those things is family.

A snapshot of 2 generations in my family

So many things I concern myself with; work, decisions, "to-do" lists, etc. But as I watched my grandmother laying in the hospital bed, mesmerized by the sound of her breathing accompanied by the rhythmic beeping of various monitors... something in me shifted. In the weeks that followed it seemed as if God peeled away a layer of me that was preoccupied with society's standards of living and brought me back to the true relevance of life: humanity.

I spent my Thanksgiving time with my parents, two sisters and 9 of my nieces and nephews.

Who you takin' a picture of?

With the aromas coming from the kitchen, little ones running about, and lots of relaxing happening, Thanksgiving time was absolutely warm and yummy!

Movin' and Shakin'

Yesterday was a revelation day, I will never forget that. Okay so maybe the sky didn't crack and the Spirit of the Lord didn't exactly descend like a dove and give me a “Thus said the Lord...” but He sure spoke loud and clear. And I listened. It was as if every conversation I had was filled with some sort of revelatory goodness of how God was moving in the lives of my friends. Their encounters with God weaved its way into my heart and touched at the center of my very situation in a way I could not ignore. It was amazing to say the least. A lot of times I wait for God to show up in these over the top ways; ways I can't ignore and I will know exactly what to do or what direction to take. That's my rendition of how God moves. Though He works in the big miracles still, it's the small unseemingly things that we take for granted that He moves in all the time. I heard a pastor say, “God takes the ordinary of our everyday lives and makes something extraordinary”. That was so true for me yesterday. He used ordinary conversations with friends I talk to all the time and turned them into extraordinary vessels for His glory. There was so much poured into me last night I think I woke up with a spiritual hangover. My reality right now is that God is moving in my life. The crazy part for me is that I have no idea what will happen next. Being the planner that I am I'm ready to fill my calendar with tasks and duties to get this show on the road. But God says, “My ways are higher than your ways...my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” It's time for me to put down the day planner, throw away my to-do list, fire the “control freak” in me and be a passenger on this ride. There will be a lot of work and responsibilities ahead of me but Philippians 4:13 takes care of that...this is about to be fun!

PeaceTakers vs PeaceMakers

Why is it that when I am in San Chez I feel so good about life? Is it the fact that the food is so good? Or that I am treating myself? Or that I can treat myself without worrying about what bill isn't paid or that I won't be able to do this again for a really long time? It is a mixture of all three I'm sure. One thing I can thank my grandmother for is her passing on fiscal responsibility to me. I have to admit I'm not always as disciplined as I would like to be and don't make as much as I would like at the moment but I'm content. More than that actually...pretty damn joyful! I'm able to have moments like this and thoroughly enjoy them which is a blessed thing.

baked goat cheese in a "bath of tomato sauce" as the waitress said

A friend recently mentioned that he wanted to find a partner by the time he was 30. It's a normal human compulsion to want a mate/companion but what's with people putting an age requirements on certain aspects of life? And tell me this, why is 30 always the magic number of when to accomplish things like marriage and kids?! As if 30 is the gateway to the land of doom and every year following will begin a downward spiral to decrepit-ness ( I say this because I am 31 and feel great!).  Okay so "they" say after 30 your physical body begins this shift into accelerated deterioration but come on, that's no reason to jump start the walk down the aisle or start picking out baby names. Just change a diaper or babysit for a few hours.It will bring you back to reality, trust me.


This same friend of mine also suggested that I do whatever I need to do in order to maintain peace in my life. In his words, "...stay away from whatever is going to work against you". Well said. As he was counseling me and allowing me to vent (these are the best friends) on a certain subject, which is typically dating and relationships, I realized his simple advice made a lot of sense. There are times when my curiosity gets the best of me and I have to remember that whatever environment I create for myself is the one I have to live in. I prefer the San Chez moments, conversations with a friend over coffee or talking with peers about how to save the world through mentoring (okay...so I'm a little partial to the mentoring program at my job and we had a really good meeting tonight). However, the moments of tension bring about growth and I can't overlook or avoid those. So instead of viewing a particular situation as frustrating and negative I think I will look at it as an opportunity to grow and maintain the peace in my life.

Gathering Leaves

My shoulder is still the pain from an afternoon of raking and bagging leaves yesterday. I must admit that because I'm still a newlywed homeowner I actually enjoy doing things like that; it makes me feel good to take care of my little house. I suppose as the years go by I'll get over that and want to hire someone else to do it.  I hope not though. I hope to hold on to that feeling and find joy in the doing the grunt work. It is a lot of leaves I'll tell you that! I have to do it section by section in order to get it done. So today it continues

It was interesting how this task put me in a meditative state and opened up my mind to think about things. I felt like I was on a boat out on a lake fishing with an old friend talking about life. Mostly silence with sporadic interjections of wisdom and information. Not that I am a fisher, I have yet to worm a hook, but I suppose that's what it's like out there. I thought about how God uses the natural things all around us to explain how life works. If we would pay attention we could get some serious revelation from observing nature.  Sometimes we feel like life's answers are so hidden from us. Some are but so many things a there in front of us if we just take a moment to see them.  For example, instead of starting in the front yard (so I could show all the neighbors I wasn't slacking) I began in the back yard. Why? There are waaaay more leaves back there and it will require more work and energy to do it. I figured I would tackle the hard part first since I was feeling all inspired and what not. That made me think about how we spend so much energy dressing up our exterior selves to impress others when the real mess is hiding, secretly tucked away in our lives completely invisible to others. Had I began in the front, I would not have had suffient energy, or motivation, to do the back. There is still much work to do butt he hard part is done. My shoulder thanks me!

Now that I have tackled the hard part I'm not so intimidated by the rest. Yes, there will probably be a record number of bags used this year (last year was 32) and it won't be a perfect job but it's the best I can do. With that I am satisfied. I will be able to rest in peace knowing that next spring I won't be raking up wet, slimy, insect infected leaves with wiggly squirmy things crawling all around and about. I may have a little experience in that area...maybe that's what happened last year...it's all speculation though...I'm just saying maybe I know about that...I'm just saying...

Speak Easy...Or Not

Me and the lovely "Ladybug"

 

 

I have been confronted with something lately; my words. With the kids in the mentoring program, at the bank, and with a potential new hair stylist. All in one week I have had these moments where I listen to myself say something and think, “Why did you just say that?”. Words are powerful and set the course for life. It's like I have been hearing a recorded playback of things I have said and it makes me go, “Huh?!”. The latest one was a comment about not having a car but I said it in a way that I have no intention or desire to have or get one. Which, for the record, is completely untrue. After I made the comment I immediately thought to myself, “Why would you say something like that with such ease?” It may seem small to someone else but for me the things that I say hold a lot of weight. Meaning, I feel like my words set the tone for my actions, thoughts and ultimately my existence. That may sound a bit dramatic but it's true for me. Being irresponsible with my choice of words is like sampling some strange food without asking what it is and then getting mad when it tastes funny....it's just not right. The good thing is I get to practice a new way of speaking today. All is not lost! Redemption is a funny thing because you have to remind yourself you have it. Instead of being down in the dumps about things like stupid things you've said or perhaps eating 3 cookies and a chocolate bar all in the span of an hour (I just made that up...really...it's not what I did last night while watching Hulu..) you can rest in the fact that tomorrow is another opportunity to be better. That's how I look at Today, like it's another chance. While I relish in the excitement of being renewed I'm going to go brush the cookie crumbs off the couch...

Yawn...Stretch...

Waking up at 4 a.m. has proven to be beneficial lately. Though it's quite early and my body is like, "What are you doing to me??!!*&$%", I have been able to get some good quality God time in...which is imperative otherwise I may snap off on someone...especially on the city bus...

I can feel the tiredness this morning (this is only day 2 of the 4 a.m. thing). It's so easy to succumb to that feeling and crawl back in the bed. But my mind is alert and staying still is not where I am am right now. As I have been reading Sun Stand Still, I can't recall ever asking God for anything really big...or rather believing for anything really big. I feel like my faith has always been in a really safe place. Not that I am asking for trouble but I am also seeking the extraordinary which requires some serious faith that I don't think I have truly experienced or exercised. Do I really want Salon 477 to be real? Do I really want to be a full time artist? Do I really want these things? Of course I say yes but how this that translating in my actions everyday is the question. Pondering these things...
One thing I have always been blessed with is time and solitude. Sometimes percieved as a burden or curse, I am changing my outlook on my life situation. It's so easy for single folks to seek companionship with another, which is absolutely natural, but what about embracing time alone as something to be valued instead of expending all energies of soul-mate seeking? I suppose I'm just different from the average bear when it comes to this subject. Don't get me wrong, my emotions ebb and flow constantly about relationships and dating but I have come to a realization in the last few days. And that is that (1) I am to be sought after, I'm not the seeker...and (2) God is doing some amazing things in my life right now and if I could get my focus on that then I would become available to so much more fulfilment.

The journey goes on...

Chicken, Wafffles and Family

Back from Texas...getting back into the swing of things...
I think about Nana (my grandmother) and what an extraordinary experience it was to be there with her. There were small miracles happening all around us everyday. Not only was being in Texas a mini vacation from the busyness of Grand Rapids life but it was a reminder of who God is...and also a time of rejuvenation and refocus on what really matters in my life. I have been distracted for a while, being away made me realize that. Distracted by creating a very “busy” environment for myself and then getting upset for being so tired and mentally exhausted?! It's pretty incredible how we get upset at situations we create ourselves. I wandered away from my big picture and purpose for life and replaced it with worldly concerns. I'm not ashamed to admit that because at the beginning and end of the day I'm human..a very flawed one at that. But thank God the Restorer has brought me back! I can always count on the hope that comes with a relationship with Christ. Not an empty hope but one that is proven and is guaranteed to produce results. Of course there is that pesky element of patience that has to be exercised...darn this generation of instant gratification making me want everything right now!
The highlight of my Dallas excursion? Chicken and waffles! Yes, I had my first chicken and waffles experience at a nice establishment called Buttons. Other than the family time, that had to be the best part! Who would have thought that fried chicken, waffles, and collard greens would be a delectable culinary treat? Mmm mmm good is all I can say.
My cousin Logan was a special treat. She is something else! It was cool to be a part of her everyday life and get to know her. There were so many small family reunions going on it was hard to keep up with who was who. A pretty awesome experience to say the least. I just remembered another highlight...the Tempur-Pedic bed I slept on. OMG! I always told myself that the two things I would spend a significant amount of money on would be a nice sound system and a good mattress. Sleeping on that mattress confirmed that belief.

On another note, a few shots of my trip...

My mom flagging down a buggy to take us to our gate...if you're not careful those things will take you out!

 

So I thought I was getting away from the animal fur but I guess that was just wishful thinking.

My little cousin Logan...acting like she's shy!

 Aunt's and Great Aunt's

 

 Aunt Candy and Great Aunt Delores

 Malachi say cheese!