The battle of comparison is never won. I’m looking out the window wondering what the next phase of life will be. What will life after **** entail? I can remember looking out of the window of **** thinking the same thing. I used to think, “Will I ever move beyond this or is this it?” I knew it wasn’t it but I couldn’t see beyond those front windows. Now, I look out yet another window wondering the same thing. I know better though. I know for certain there is the “next level” but what is it is the question. So many wonderful things are going on around me and yet I belittle it all when I compare myself to someone else. Coveting someone’s life becomes easy when all you see is the glamour…the gutter is always invisible to the naked eye it seems. It’s in those dark, quiet, private moments when character is built and revealed…not in the spotlight. I think that’s why God has me in solitude so much; he’s preparing me to be able to handle whatever is to be my life’s work. There’s a lot of junk that has to be worked out. I can’t lie…it’s hard to watch others advance, get noticed and be in the spotlight especially when I know for certain I have the capability of being just as successful. It gets tough when I get that ‘waiting on the shelf’ feeling. But I have to remember that fine wine ages slowly; its value, flavor and potency increase with time. Its only job is to sit on the shelf and just be wine. Being who I am is all I need to do and God will do the rest. I know my responsibilities, I know my part. There are so many things God has planted inside me. I am coming to an understanding that though I know they are there and I can feel their life inside me, they need time to grow. Trying to put all of my ideas out there now would be detrimental and immature.
God help me as I grow. Teach me that with every step, you are there; in every idea, you are there. Even in every stumble you are there. I want to know you and be complete in your love, not lacking anything. Help me God to see myself as the unique one-of-a-kind creation you made
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